Mountain Castle

Fantasy Forest

In my mountainous castle well hidden away
There’s my beast getting restless for lightness of day
And the blood that I seek must be innocent, sweet,
So delight feeds the brain and my rapture’s complete.

How I long that the travelers wandering by
Are so pure that they capture my sensitive eye.
How I long that they tarry so I’ll taste a bite
Of the glory of goodness lost deep in the night.

Ah, look! There’s a traveler coming toward me
To my mountainous castle all lost by the sea,
To the doom that awaits him whose way seems so sure
With a heart pumping love and excessively pure.

He is knocking! Let’s open the door to his death.
He is breathing but soon he will not take a breath
And then at the table aged wine I will drink
And the meat, raw and bloody, may finally stink.

But wait! My hand moves but it can’t free the door.
The traveler turns. He won’t knock anymore!
Have I grown out so ghostly my body has gone?
Have I nothing but fantasies I can put on?

Linked to dVerse Poetics hosted by Kim with the prompt “to write a modern dramatic monologue about a plot to do away with someone (or something)”.

Photo: “Fantasy Forest” by the author.  The scene is part of a bonsai forest at the Chicago Botanic Garden.

Author: Frank Hubeny

I enjoy walking, poetry and short prose as well as taking pictures with my phone.

71 thoughts on “Mountain Castle”

  4. A nice twist, on the vampire tale, Frank. Wonder, what your take would be, on Frankenstein’s monster, by Ms. Shelley.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I don’t remember what the Frankenstein plot was anymore, but I would attempt to rewrite it as something humorous like the old Fractured Fairy Tales on the Rocky and Bullwinkle show, if you have ever seen those. Thanks, Therisa!

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  6. The rhythm and rhyme are perfect, Frank, and I love vampire stories. This is a corker! Creepy too:
    ‘And the blood that I seek must be innocent, sweet,
    So delight feeds the brain and my rapture’s complete’.
    There’s one stanza that reminds me of Poe:
    ‘He is knocking! Let’s open the door to his death.
    He is breathing but soon he will not take a breath
    And then at the table aged wine I will drink
    And the meat, raw and bloody, may finally stink’.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I love the voice, awaiting the coming of innocent travellers ~ Then the twist in the ending, is so unexpected ~ This is so well done Frank ~

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I like the last stanza as well. The first four stanzas are only there to set up for the last one, but while writing it I wasn’t sure what would be in that last stanza. Thanks!

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    1. Thanks, Robbie! I like creepy stuff as long as there’s a happy ending, although whoever was in that castle probably didn’t think it was a happy ending.

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  29. I like this one, Frank. I had one of those when I was about twelve, a tree house out in the grove. My younger sister found it so I had to share it with her when she wanted. Dad found out she was also using it so he helped me make it stronger and safer. It lasted for years and tears out there. But now the grove and farm place has been taken down and put into cultivation.
    ..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The farm house we grew up in as children has also been taken down and now has corn or soybeans growing where it used to stand. I can see why your father would want to make it safer for both of you.

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  31. I like this one overall, although I’m not sure why if you wanted the blood to be ‘sweet’ that you would want it to stink. Maybe the rhyme led you to it? Really like the line: ‘Have I nothing but fantasies I can put on’.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. To some extent it is the rhyme although I could easily have chosen different rhyme words. What was going through my mind was that the traveler, while alive, would be innocent and “sweet”, but once dead and on this demon’s table the bloody meat would “stink”. The demon isn’t getting what he really wants by killing the traveler, but this demon isn’t very rational nor perceptive since he just found out that he’s a ghost. Thanks for the thoughtful comment, Ronnie! Should I revise this in the future I will take this into consideration knowing that some readers might have a problem reading this.

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