Shakespeare’s Sonnet 18:
Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer’s lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimmed,
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature’s changing course untrimmed:
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow’st,
Nor shall death brag thou wander‘st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow’st,
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.
Here is what remains after I erase all but the text in red bold:
Seeing
Summer’s temperate.
Winds do shake and heaven shines
And gold and every fair declines.
Nature’s trimmed but summer shall not fade
Nor shall thou wander in his shade.
When eternal eyes can see,
This gives life to thee.
Text: Linked to dVerse Meeting the Bar. Victoria C. Slotto hosts and her theme is to take a text and create another text from it by erasing some of the original text.
Photos: Something to see with or without eternal eyes: “Chicago River”, above, and “Reflections Everywhere”, below, by the author.
Very nice 🙂
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Thank you, Sue!
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Really effective work with this sonnet, Frank. Stand aside, Will. You have competition.
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Thanks, Victoria! And thank you for the interesting prompt.
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Wow! The bard would be pleased….well done! 🙂
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Thank you, Lillian! I’m glad you liked it.
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A fine job Frank. Well done.
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Thank you, Peter!
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Very nice… at first i thought you had transformed the love poem to only nature… but in the end you turned it back to love. Delightful
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It still is a love poem, but the loved one is not living through our reading the words, but through seeing with those eternal eyes. Thank you, Bjorn!
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Nature’s trimmed but summer shall not fade…beautiful image…
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I’m glad you liked that line, Alison! Thank you!
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I love this part:
“Nature’s trimmed but summer shall not fade
Nor shall thou wander in his shade.”
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I like that part as well. Thank you!
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Brilliantly extracted … and brilliantly presented too!
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Thank you, Bev! I’m glad you liked the presentation. I was debating different ways to do it.
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Perfect fall poem to go with those pictures!
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I am glad you thought the pictures and the poem went together. I was trying to make sure they did. Thank you, Jilly!
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It reads much better than Shakespeare.
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I am glad you think so. Of course, Shakespeare wrote long ago. Thank you!
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Very nice – the lines – ‘Summer’s temperate winds do shake and heaven shines’ – are wonderful to say out loud (as is all the rest of your verse). Masterful recasting of the the master.
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Thank you, Peter! It is mostly Shakespeare’s own phrases and rhymes jumbled a bit.
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Man, you put in a lot of work for this one, including presented the full text & showing the culls. Puts me in mind of the old Shakespearian actor I played in THE FANTASTICKS–he would mix & match dialogue from several plays; great fun to play.
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Thanks, Glenn! I wanted the original poem to be there for comparison. You were in The Fantasticks! That must have been a memorable experience.
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I admire the voice of the bard, and the new found poem, is as lovely as the original sonnet ~
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Thank you, Grace! I am glad you feel it compares well with the original.
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love it! a new creation.
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Thank you, Vivian! It was fun to write after I realized it was possible to do so.
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Good one!
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Wow, Frank. That was really cool, and the end result is beautiful.
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Thank you! It is the same as Shakespeare’s ending although with a different meaning. I rode his coattails with this one.
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Ah, you went with the Bard too, Frank, and kept a tight rein on rhyme – well done! Not an easy thing to do with erasure poetry.
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Thanks, Kim! Using phrases helped keep the original meter and rhyme. I changed the meaning since I don’t really like this sonnet and tried to add a twist I thought was better.
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That’s a very interesting challenge, and you did a wonderful job with it. I like your version a lot, Frank.
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Thanks, Dan! It is an unusual challenge. I’m not sure I will do it again–unless another challenge comes along.
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Impressive, Frank! I wouldn’t dare touch Shakespeare but you erased in lovely form 🙂
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Thank you, Lynn! I basically followed Shakespeare’s iambic meter and rhyme by taking his phrases and endings. I’m glad you liked it.
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Beautifully done Frank!
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Thank you, Namratha!
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You did a great job. The new poem is beautiful!
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Thank you! I did try to follow the original with modifications I preferred in the message.
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Hmm, I like this very much. Eternal eyes see what never changes.
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Thank you, Mary!
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I think I like this better than the original. Outstanding, Frank!
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I’m glad, Sara! I did use Shakespeare’s phrases and rhymes.
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You’ve kept a lovely meter and rhyme in this. Nice.
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I tried to let Shakespeare’s iambic meter and rhyme come through by picking out phrases and only changing the meaning somewhat. Thank you!
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Brave to tackle Shakespeare: ) it turned out well Frank.
Pat
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Thank you, Pat! I used his own phrases to help me.
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Wow! You did an amazing job with this challenge. I think I even like yours better than the original.
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Thank you! Shakespeare was following a form which I didn’t have to stick to.
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wonderful!
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Thank you!
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I had to memorize sonnet 18 in high school and never forgot it. Nice to see it in print again. 🙂 I’ve always loved the part of about eternal summer.
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I also memorized it. For this prompt I wanted something people would likely know. Thank you, JoAnna!
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A Youthful Sonnet
By Shakespeare sTill iN
Way oF Number 18 surELy
BRings ReaLiTy ageless
timeless
Summer
Youth
within.. A Brain
thaT continues to reach
connect and learn anew
synthesizing avenues many
varied focused on one interest
one by one..
many
more
never
overwhelmed
stiLL lEarning more anew..
oh.. but then tHeRe iS HeART
SpiRiT iNSpiRinG MuSinG
SoUL Deeper so beYonD
Analytical
tHougHt
aLone
A DancE
A SinG
BlooMinG
FloWeRinG
AS HuMaN SPRinG
nowforevermorenow..:)
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Going beyond analytical thought would be what a dance does. Thank you, Fred!
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SMiLes.. i
Find Poetry
Of all kinds
More likely
To be generated
By
Dance..:)
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I agree. I should learn to dance more.
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