This is linked to dVerse Poetics. is hosting. The theme is to take a post from a year ago and post a revision of it. On September 11th, 2017, I posted a poem called “Free”. Here is a new version.
New Version
I wonder what this fall will bring
When wind caresses me.
Waves come when the oceans sing
Yearning to be free.
Winter comes to freeze my dreams.
There’s nothing I need do.
The hardest lesson left to learn
Is letting love’s warmth through.
Original Version
My heart felt peaceful but constrained.
The wind blew over me.
The waves hit hard. The land complained.
I wanted to be free.
Eventually through darkened night
The waves revised their song.
I assumed it’s now all right
Though some say it’s still wrong.
Poetry, Short Prose and Walking 
There’s still a sense of holding back in the revised version, though at least now, your unwillingness to surrender completely is named, and aptly so. Yes, love’s warmth is hard to allow fully in, especially when we have become used to those mercurial waves, our unsure footing.
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It is good there is something more to learn and a chance to do so. Thank you, Amaya!
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It seems to me that this autumn is lighter than the previous one… as if adopting to winter.
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It may be. Thank you, Bjorn!
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A superb rewrite Frank.
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Thank you, Peter!
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Both versions work. I do prefer the newer one. I note that Fall is both what the towers did, and so did the seasons–was that intentional?
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It was to be open to any sorrow that one might be experiencing or remembering. Thank you, Glenn!
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i like the revision, the last line is so precious to me and I am sure all who read. allowing love’s warmth through
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I am glad you like that last line, Gina! Thank you!
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Winter comes to freeze my dreams.
This line is so indicative of how so many people from all walks of life have become stagnant from fear.
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Fear does make us freeze from over-caution. Thank you!
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I like both versions. They are like waves in high tide and low. Cyclic, rolling, different times, different pulls. Lovely Frank.
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I am glad you liked them. Thank you, Lona!
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I like the hint at possibilities in ‘I wonder…’ and the way this is continued in the final stanza. How beautiful the lines:
‘Waves come when the oceans sing
Yearning to be free’.
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Thank you, Kim!
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I like your rewrite. There’s a sense of hope that feels good at this stage in my reading for this prompt!
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It is best to be hopeful and forgiving. Thank you, Sarah!
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Great poem Frank,
indeed, that could be a hard lesson to learn.Freeing love is really hard to learn sometimes!
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It can be hard to free love. Thank you, Ben!
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I love the last stanza. The revised seem to have a more contented resolve and less strain. Nice Frank!
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It is sometimes good to revise them. Thank you, Mary!
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I like how this poem transformed. There is much to be said in favour of revising. Sure could resonate with the freeze of Winter dreams, and will also try to let Summer’s warmth in. Well done.
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It is good to revise. I forgot I even wrote this poem. Thank you, V. J.!
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Once reected and spurned, it is difficult to let love’s warmth shine through once more , and we guard our vulnerability. You’ve said it so well.
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Thank you, Beverly!
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Excellent rewrite Frank. And as always, the beautiful rhythm you impose on the words.
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Thank you, Linda!
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Nice job on the revision. I like them both. I liked the idea of the ocean yearning to be free!
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I like that freedom idea as well. Thank you, Dwight!
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Well done. I actually love winter. Letting love’s warmth through. Bundling up. Getting up early and having candles lit next to my frost covered den’s windows. This write made me smile.
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Winter is beautiful as well. Thank you, Lillian!
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I like elements of both versions, but the revised really grabbed me with these lines:
The hardest lesson left to learn
Is letting love’s warmth through.
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I am glad you liked those lines. They were the reason I thought the second version was done. Thank you, Paul!
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Light’s Love
Comfort’s Love
Twin
Lights
Sunshine
Touch More..:)
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Thank you, Fred!
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And thanks to
You too.. Frank..;)
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I love both of these poems, Frank.
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I’m glad. Thank you, Robbie!
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