Surprise – Six Sentence Story

In an attempt to make conversation, or perhaps scare away snakes that might be sunning themselves on the trail, Stephen said to Dale, “What makes deception work is all that true enough sky-is-blue stuff that serves as the delivery vehicle for the poison we don’t know we’re being fed.” He then added the next thing that popped into his head, “Of course, we only think others can be fooled so we happily open our mouths.”

Unwilling to follow just any non-sequitur where it leads, but also unwilling to remain unsociably silent, Dale countered, “Things haven’t changed much since that snake messed with Eve.”

Meeting the challenge Stephen observed, “You can tell by the cautious way the snake phrased its words that it was worried Eve was going to bite its head off if it made a wrong move.”

While pointing out the direction where the trail forked Dale noted, “She did want that lame excuse to eat forbidden fruit.”

Since this was Stephen’s first time on this twisted trail he only added by way of conclusion, “But after they took those bites—surprise!—they and that snake had plenty of other things to worry about.”


Denise offers the prompt word “Surprise” to be used in this week’s Six Sentence Stories. Associated with these prompts is a YouTube Channel, Two Guys and a Girlie, discussing the writing of these stories featuring Clark, Nick and Denise streaming live on Sundays at 2:30 PM EST.

If you want to read the brief dialogue between Eve and the serpent to see how far I’ve gone off the trail see Genesis 3:

Section of Regent Parkway in Fort Mill, SC

Author: Frank Hubeny

I enjoy walking, poetry and short prose as well as taking pictures with my phone.

27 thoughts on “Surprise – Six Sentence Story”

  1. Perception and deception…

    Frank, best wishes for the New Year!
    Thank you once again for your support.
    But mostly for reminding me that gifts reside often not where one expects them to be found.

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  2. First, the snake cast doubt. “Did God REALLY say…?”
    Then he appealed to her aspirations, “Don’t you want to be like God–knowing both good and evil?”
    How did Eve know what evil was? There was no evil in the garden, and she had never experienced evil. Maybe she thought evil was chocolate or something…
    Knowing both good and evil wasn’t the bad thing, it was that the lines between good and evil were blurred. They didn’t know which things were good and which things were evil because it wasn’t the knowledge God had, it was the wisdom to discern one from the other. And that wisdom might have been imparted to Adam and Eve after they had learned about good and evil directly from God. They were impatient and the snake just gave them the nudge to jump in early–before they were prepared!

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  3. Enjoyed the lesson of your Six.
    My observations of late are that critical, independent thinking individuals appear to be dwindling in numbers. (wait, where’s the positive in that?!, lol)
    Enjoy a safe and happy New Year’s, Frank!

    Liked by 1 person

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