But what saith it? The word is nigh thee, even in thy mouth, and in thy heart: that is, the word of faith, which we preach; That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
Once upon a time when the lad returned uneaten questions arose. If the lad wasn’t eaten, how were the town folk going to explain the statue and the truly tall tales they were telling to the tourists?
The town’s scientist came to the rescue explaining that if they only knew science the way he did they would see that when light hit the lad’s chiral polypeptide lipid loving amino acids they’d order the polymerization end to end bringing back together again the lad as if nothing happened. Our beloved scientist patiently lectured the uneducated town folk (since they patiently listened) on how science had proven over and over again that stuff that couldn’t happen happened all the time.
Although the town folk didn’t buy his tale (deep down anyway), they were glad to have something to tell those tourists who wouldn’t shut their mouths when they were told nonsense. Besides – town folk being town folk – once they realized that they were just too stupid to understand, what they couldn’t understand previously suddenly made sense so everyone could go back to living happily ever after again.
All of these limericks were originally posted to Esther Chilton’s Laughing Along With A Limerick during the month of March 2026.
Kiss Like This
There is bliss when a kiss doesn’t miss though that snake in the grass loves to hiss. Though the moon might be round the fine sun can be found in that bliss when we kiss just like this.
It’s a sunset so yellow and bright. When I look to the clouds I see light.
The Joy Of Sprouting
It might sprout if it only went out of its shell and then looked all about, saw the sun in the sky and white clouds flying high. If it did . . . well, it did. It went out.
Since a shower’s as good as a bath and my heart is more true than my math, I’ll rejoice and I’ll say I am blessed everyday day and not lost – not at all – on this path.
When I ride I can look out and say, What a wonderful, wonderful day! If you’re sighing inside, then come out for a ride. Do not hide for the Lord leads the way.
There once was a treat in a jar on a shelf way up high very far from the floor where he could eat it up and he would if he could get his nose in the jar.
Once upon a time there was a big bad wolf who liked to eat and a lad who liked to cry “Wolf! Wolf!” even when big bad wasn’t hungry. The wolf got barbequed and the lad – whom, it turned out, wasn’t eaten – went off to make his fortune somewhere where people listened to him when he cried wolf.
After many, many years our dear lad heard about a town with a weird statue and realized that this was his home town and after hearing the truly tall tales the tourists were told figured that statue must be a statue of him.
He went on a march back home to see the statue and ran into many of the lassies who still hadn’t washed those spots where they insisted, despite his faulty memory, that he kissed them long, long ago. These lassies, who now ran the town, set the lad up in a prosperous business of freely kissing any lassie – tourist or local – for only $10 per decent peck on the cheek.
After that who wouldn’t want to live happily ever after?
Once upon a time the leaders of the town where the lad used to live decided to conduct a series of investigations to find out precisely what happened to the lad in all its gory details. However, no one actually saw the lad get eaten by the big bad wolf in spite of the tall tales offered to tourists.
One investigation centered on the lassies who said they were kissed by the lad and had vowed never ever to wash that spot again. These lassies were highly popular with the tourists.
The town leaders commissioned the most renowned scientist they could afford to construct from those unwashed spots where the lad kissed these gorgeous lassies his full DNA sequence that they planned to display in their newly opened museum. In spite of there being hundreds of distinct Y-chromosomes on those unwashed spots our brilliant scientist was able to swing a home run by miraculously producing with the help of a random number generator the commissioned DNA sequence that allowed him to live happily ever after.