Free (Revision)

Windy Lake Michigan

This is linked to dVerse Poetics.  Amaya is hosting. The theme is to take a post from a year ago and post a revision of it.  On September 11th, 2017, I posted a poem called “Free”.  Here is a new version.

New Version

I wonder what this fall will bring
When wind caresses me.
Waves come when the oceans sing
Yearning to be free.

Winter comes to freeze my dreams.
There’s nothing I need do.
The hardest lesson left to learn
Is letting love’s warmth through.

Original Version

My heart felt peaceful but constrained.
The wind blew over me.
The waves hit hard. The land complained.
I wanted to be free.

Eventually through darkened night
The waves revised their song.
I assumed it’s now all right
Though some say it’s still wrong.


Author: Frank Hubeny

I enjoy walking, poetry and short prose as well as taking pictures with my phone.

39 thoughts on “Free (Revision)”

  1. There’s still a sense of holding back in the revised version, though at least now, your unwillingness to surrender completely is named, and aptly so. Yes, love’s warmth is hard to allow fully in, especially when we have become used to those mercurial waves, our unsure footing.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Both versions work. I do prefer the newer one. I note that Fall is both what the towers did, and so did the seasons–was that intentional?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I like the hint at possibilities in ‘I wonder…’ and the way this is continued in the final stanza. How beautiful the lines:
    ‘Waves come when the oceans sing
    Yearning to be free’.

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  4. I like how this poem transformed. There is much to be said in favour of revising. Sure could resonate with the freeze of Winter dreams, and will also try to let Summer’s warmth in. Well done.

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  5. Once reected and spurned, it is difficult to let love’s warmth shine through once more , and we guard our vulnerability. You’ve said it so well.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Well done. I actually love winter. Letting love’s warmth through. Bundling up. Getting up early and having candles lit next to my frost covered den’s windows. This write made me smile.

    Liked by 1 person

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