humor – Poetry, Short Prose and Walking

Thirteen Demons Sitting on the Wall

Lucky this or lucky that,
Luck as bad as that black cat
Cuddling, purring by my side,
Unlikely place for luck to hide.

Thirteen demons looking mean
Pretending that I haven't seen
Them cackling when they watch me frown.
Too bored to laugh, I stare them down.

It's not bad luck that made them fall.
They jumped like Humpty from the wall
And then they cracked.  Oops.  Breakfast time!
You're lucky. That's my final rhyme.

Linked to Chel Owens’ A Mused Poetry Contest where the theme is “bad luck” used humorously.

One-Liner Wednesday – Until

It’s those little things that don’t matter until they do.

Linked to Linda G. Hill’s One-Liner Wednesday.

These little steps don’t matter till you reach the top in the photo and can see the real top far beyond.

Badge by Laura @ riddlefromthemiddle.com

Endless Whining

Endless whining - what a bore,
Unforgiven - evermore,
Not one whit better than before,
Grumbling, grumbling - such a chore.

Linked to Sammi Cox’s Weekend Writing Prompt. The challenge this week is to use some form of the word “endless” and exactly 18 words.

Bend – A Six Sentence Story

We didn’t care that Jim was short on brains. We all liked him.

However, a few weeks ago he must have taken the wrong turn at a bend in some alley. He stopped clubbing and fooling around with us when we chased stuff that didn’t want to be chased. He even refused to help us tip dumpsters.

We couldn’t figure out what was wrong with him, but we all knew he was a certified idiot when he finally told us that he had smartened up.

Linked to the Six Sentence Story challenge at GirlieOnTheEdge where Denise offers the prompt word “bend”.

GirlieOnTheEdge Denise Farley's six-sentence-stories icon — GirlieOnTheEdge Denise Farley’s six-sentence-stories icon

One-Liner Wednesday – Words

Sometimes I don’t know what I’m talking about which is why I use more words than necessary and sometimes it’s just to pound the idea in over and over and over again until you forget that it never did make any sense.

Linked to Linda G. Hill’s One-Liner Wednesday.

First Flight

The interviewer wanted to know whether Bird was scared when he jumped out of the nest for the first time.

Bird said, “Technically I didn’t ‘jump’. I flew. My wings moved. Soon the nest was far below me. I don’t know how it happened. It’s not like jumping. There’s a difference.”

The interviewer wondered, “Really? What’s the difference?”

He clarified, “You see, any monkey can jump out of a nest. You know as well as I do what will happen. I’m not going to go there. But birds, well – how do I put this? We don’t jump. We fly.”

Linked to Carrot Ranch August 13 Flash Fiction Challenge where Charli Mills offers the theme of “first flight” for these 99-word stories.

Zany – A Six Sentence Story

It was a mistake telling George about those aliens who wanted me to hop on board their flying saucer for some zany experiments.

George explained to me that my aliens either were delusions or they were demons monkeying with me and he didn’t care which I picked as long as I didn’t believe there were actual aliens out there since any rational person knows they couldn’t exist and they wouldn’t exist if they wanted to.

He’s usually right, and so I picked the demonic monkeys.

That’s when a flying saucer popped in front of us and a squeaky voiced alien asked George if he would like to hop in for some nice experiments.

I gave them both an all-knowing smile.

As George hopped in he told me I would have to gaslight myself until he got back.

Linked to GirlieOnTheEdge’s Six Sentence Stories with the prompt word “zany”.

One-Liner Wednesday: Realization

That’s when I realized if I don’t try it one more time I’d never know if the tenth time wasn’t the charm.

Linked to Linda G. Hill’s One-Liner Wednesday.

Seagulls

Attracted by the morning sun
And by the people who
Toss wondrous crumbs into the sky
That every bird with brains must try.
What else is there to do?

This is why I don't feed the birds, but I love it when others do. — This is why I don’t feed the birds, but I love it when others do.

Around the Block

We go in different directions down the imperturbable street like Joe and Jim after their argument. Joe pounded the imperturbable shooing away crows. Jim crumbled bread tossing it to them.

At the end of the block they both headed north: Joe weighing dark thoughts, Jim littering the imperturbable with crumbs. At the end of those blocks they witlessly turned back toward each other.

They bumped into each other outside Jerry’s secret laboratory. Jerry was assembling, with his usual dexterity, a “Teach Em All A Lesson” bomb (details in Chapter 32). As Joe saw Jim, Jerry clicked the final chip into place and rubble buried the street. Joe’s last words were “You again!” Jim was wondering if he had more bread. Those investigating the scene figured Jerry didn’t have enough time to even say “oops”.

No crow with a brain in its head was injured.

Linked to dVerse Prosery where Merril is hosting with a line from Gwendolyn Brooks “We go in different directions down the imperturbable street” from An Aspect of Love, Alive in the Ice and Fire.

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