Tag: humor

Reflections on the Deep End

I rarely descend to the existential depths of metaphysical dread. Why would anyone want to? Besides there’s nothing down there. That’s why it’s dreadful. Why get all miserable over nothing? Sanity stays on the bright surface with the breathable air and the cleansing rain. Or, to put it in other words: don’t look down–the deeper depth is toward the sky.  That leads me to my problem. Although I don’t have anything particularly dreadful to write about, which should make the sophisticated and critical reader question my allegiance to the dark side, I no longer have any motivation to shut up.

SMILING LETS ONE BE
SEASONS’ PLAYFUL METERS RHYME
TIME TO LIVE FORGIVE

Text: Linked to dVerse Haibun Monday.  Bjorn is hosting.  Toni provided the prompt why do we write in the way we do?  I am not sure if I answered it.
I am also linking this to Debbie Roth’s Forgiving Fridays because it occurred to me when I woke this morning that if I really want to levitate to a deeper depth I will have to stop weighing myself down with making sure karma is distributed equitably. There’s plenty of karma to go around.

Photos: “Water Flowers”, above, and “At the Chicago Botanic Garden”, below, by the author.

At the Chicago Botanic Garden

 

I’m Rooting for the Ghost — #writephoto

After Michael saw the ghost he understood. What he understood he would not say. True knowledge should not be made so literal that any monkey could understand it.

Anne sympathized with him but she thought his deranged prefrontal whatchamacallit generated the ghost. Otherwise why was he locked up with her?

Michael told her she could escape with him through the skylight of the cell. Anne said she would consider it. That was the only reason Michael told the ghost to wait.

Text: Linked to Sue Vincent’s #writephoto .
It is now also Story 100 in Christopher Fielden’s 81 Words, a project attempting to “set a Guinness World Record for the most contributing authors published in an anthology”. They have 102 stories so far and need 898 more as of 8:38 AM CST today.

Photo: Sue Vincent provided the photo for the prompt.

Sue Vincent's #writephoto icon

My Imaginary Friend’s Three Imaginary Fears

“I fear that should you read my mind
You’ll find my mind ain’t there.
I fear I’m holding you behind.
Don’t leave to run off where
Nighttime’s dreamings cannot stand.
I must not hesitate.
I fear I’ll reach my outstretched hand
Too fashionably late.”

Linked to dVerse Quadrille hosted by Victoria Ceretto-Slotto with prompt word “fear”.  The pub opens at 3 PM EST.  Come join us!
Photo: “Three Uprights” by the author linked to K’lee and Dale‘s Cosmic Photo Challenge with theme “three”.
It looks like jasenphoto’s Tuesday Photo Challenge also has “Three” as a theme. So I am linking this as well

Message — #writephoto Messenger

If my imaginary friend had more brains I’d trust her advice, but when Alice tells me something I have to examine it from all angles, especially those angles I forget to check. It might be the best advice I’ll get today, but I really should be getting it tomorrow–or yesterday.

I once told her that a neuroscientist would likely think she was some configuration of neurons acting up in my head. She observed, “They don’t know jack. Do you really think I’m a figment of your imagination?” She expected an answer, and silence wouldn’t do, so I tried dodging the question by saying, “I don’t even know what my imagination is!” She didn’t think I had one either.

“What do you think that crow means in the sky?” Alice gazed at some bird.

“What crow?”

“The one in front of your face. And you think I’m in your imagination? You’re too dumb for me to fit in there.”

Then I think I saw what she was referring to: “That bird?”

“You better get your phone out before it’s too late–Ah!! Too bad. It’s too late. It’s gone.”

That saved me from getting out my phone.

“So what do you think it meant?” Her questions are not speculations for someone sitting in a parallel universe or falling through a black hole or bobbing back and forth in some time wormhole to contemplate. She demands real answers in the real world.

“Well, you know, it could mean anything.”

“Come on, brainless! Black crow, blue sky, flying by. What’s the message?”

“Do you know?” I might as well ask the one with brains.

“Nope.”

Linked to Sue Vincent’s Thursday Photo Prompt — Messenger #writephoto.
Photo provided by Sue Vincent for the prompt.

Sue Vincent's #writephoto icon

July Challenge and Alien Artifacts

Jillys2016 offered a July Challenge for collaborative poetry.  One poet writes the first half of a poem and then another poet finishes it.  My four line poem “Home Tour” may be used for this challenge.  Pretend it is supposed to be an eight line poem and write the second half.

Here I try to complete Charley’s first half.  Charley’s part is in bold red.  It is a quadrille, a poem of 44 words.  He provided the first 22 words.  I have to add the next 22 words of the poem.

The bird broke
my concentration
when he pecked
the door.

“Anatomy of Melancholy”
from my fingers fell.

Closed, it hit the floor.

The bird came in.
He said, “Lenore.”

I said, “What?”

“Nevermore.”

“Never mind?”

“Anymore.”

I boot¹ the bird
and shut the door.

¹Some may argue that what I should have written is “I shoot the bird”, because it sounds better and that is what they would have done, but I will refrain from comment.

Photo: “Ever Growing” by the author linked to K’lee and Dale‘s Cosmic Photo Challenge on the topic of alien artifacts. I am hoping the pots will serve as alien artifacts where we are the invaders and plants are seeing if they can make use of our advanced technology.

Online Vanishing

Since my mind isn’t frightfully clear,
And I listen to less than I hear,
And this limerick’s got
Nary reason nor plot,
If I post it will it disappear?

Linked to dVerse where I am hosting today and the prompt is to write a limerick.

Photo: “I Wish My Mind Were Clear Like That” by the author

Markets Moving Up and Down

It’s maddening to hear someone
So wrong who thinks he’s right,
Who says the market’s going down,
Who gives my bullish hopes a frown,
Who paints bright day as night.

It’s true: I do not have a clue.
There might be danger there.
The herd I follow faithfully
Has got its mind made up for me.
Why fight it? I don’t care.

And when we can’t avoid the cliff
Stampeding to the fall,
I will rethink what he had said
At least before I’ve landed dead:
He’s wrong still after all.

 

Linked to dVerse Meeting the Bar.
Photo: “Wings Go Up and Down” by the author.

I am hosting today and for some odd reason picked the theme of “irony”.  Hopefully you will find what I wrote above understandable enough and yet ambiguous enough to be at least remotely ironical.  Stop by and link up some of your own ironical poetry.