humor – Page 6 – Poetry, Short Prose and Walking

Sully Award

HeyLookAWriterFellow has announced the First Annual Sully Award for Excellence in Writerishness on March 21st. I saw the announcement of the award on Jane Dougherty’s blog. To enter you have to announce the Sully Award in your blog (which I am doing now) and you have to enter a piece of prose under 200 words in the comment section of his blog (which I plan to do shortly).

Check it out. You might like it.

Here’s my entry, written long ago. It is three chapters from an imaginary book that I dream of calling Georgette’s Songs.

Chapter M: At the Roqetscienski’s Backyard Party

“What’s Robert telling those kids, Martha?”

By the swing set, they could hear Robert’s voice rise, “…and then there was a BIG BANG!”

“Oh. He’s telling them his version of the creation of the universe.”

When the kids settled, he leaned in toward them and whispered, “And God said, ‘Oops.'”

Chapter M + 1: Another Way the Universe Might Have Started

Kathy’s six-year-old Billy sat by her. She whispered, “What was that crazy Dr. Roqetscientski telling you by the swing set?”

Billy shook his head and giggled.

“You can tell me.”

Billy refused.

“Whisper it in my ear.”

Billy spoke into her ear, “He said God pooped out the universe.”

Chapter M + 2: Still Another Way the Universe Might Have Started

“Robert Roqetscienski told your son that God pooped out the universe.”

“No! Even Robert’s not that stupid. Billy probably misunderstood.”

“You need to talk to your son.” Kathy told her husband.

“Hell, I don’t know how it started.”

Before bed, Billy’s father reasoned, “It might have been only a fart.”

Cornered Again in My Dreams

My monsters have me cornered.
There’s nothing I can do,
But they’re so jumbly juicy
My teeth would gnaw them, too.

I’d like one buttered up to bite
While thinking thoughts real deep
So people think the stuff I write
Need not put them to sleep.

Oh, sure, I do get sleepy,
But they are getting near.
Monsters, monsters everywhere!
I’m cornered. They are here.

Linked to dVerse Open Link Night hosted by Grace.
For a future collection of nonsense called “Monsters, Monsters Everywhere and Not a Bite to Eat”.
Photo: “Fenced In or Out” by the author.

Looping

This ride’s worth a half hour wait.
Even longer, so don’t hesitate.
Thirty seconds of hell
Then a heavenly spell
Back in line, “Yes! The park’s open late!”

Linked to dVerse Poetics hosted by Lillian with amusement park as a prompt.

Photo by the author.

The Safe House

Most people are blessed with incorrigible ignorance. They don’t see the lion under the table. They don’t see the goblins in their chicken houses. They don’t even have a chicken house and so they can’t see the devil in his details.

I tell them. They laugh. I tell them again. They say they’ll lock me up. I tell them, “If you lock me up who will protect you from the fairy kingdom?” They lock me up. That’s exactly what I wanted them to do. The last line of defense had collapsed. It’s safer right here. By nightfall someone else can worry about those goblins.

There once was a dragon who knew
That damsel’s effectively through
With her knight on his horse.
They had run off, of course,
Since there’s nothing now either can do.

Linked to Saturday’s Image Write #6 hosted by Bekkie Sanchez and featuring Jacek Yerka.

Linked to imaginary garden with real toads Title-Tale hosted by Magaly featuring Goblinproofing One’s Chicken Coop: And Other Practical Advice in Our Campaign Against the Fairy Kingdom by Reginald Bakeley.

Part of the Confessional Poetry of Imaginary People series.

Right Sized for Just Enough

The house I’m building in my head
Is either very small
Or big so it excludes no one,
An ark that holds us all.

But since I don’t know everything
And others would build, too,
That fancy house would have to be
Quite small–just what will do.

Linked to dVerse Poetics hosted by Sara McNulty with the prompt “DIY building”.

Photo by the author, “All of us fish in one pond”

Expressionism

I’ll cartoon all the things we do.
I’ll place me by your side.
I’ll make some funny jokes for you.
Together we will hide
Until you ride away from me
And freedom says we’re through.
Though speckled green with jealousy
My happy skies stay blue.

Linked to dVerse Meet the Bar with Expressionism hosted by Björn Rudberg.
The “I” in the poem is fictional. However, I kind of like to think this is how I would behave.